Judgments and Patterns
Suspend your need to add value to every conversation. They are usually judgements. Judgements keep us stuck.
Leadership is recognizing that everything is a pattern. It is not a qualifier of good, bad, right or wrong. It is not about judging or rendering your opinion.
Leading is about being present, in the moment, without judgment. Particularly self judgment.
Judgments Keep Us Stuck
Judgments are labels. We all judge each other, but we especially judge ourselves.. Everyone has an opinion. Many people are even paid for their opinions, whether we want them or not.
When we go to judgment we close the space for learning and improvement because it disconnects from us from what we need to learn. Judgements keep us from understanding our own experiences because we become locked into a rigid pattern of perception.
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. When we make judge others it is because we believe we know what others are thinking and feeling. That is simply their story. We assume that everybody judges us, abuses us, victimizes us, and blames us the way we do to ourselves. As a result we reject ourselves before others have the chance to reject us.
This is when we personalize everything. Nothing others do is ever because of you. What others say and do is their projection onto you. Their judgment of you. First we must heal those places we have been judging ourselves as bad or wrong. When you do, you are then immune to the opinions and actions of others. You won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Judgments are stories that keep recreating the experiences involved with those judgements. They reside in our mind. And they get stuck as stories. This is way personalities get in the way of working together. If you take our the judgment you see things as patterns. Patterns are in the present. Judgements have power to limit your possibilities. Patterns shows your the path for all possibilities.
Judgements always have a perpetrator and a victim.
It is the Victim identity that keeps us stuck in the very pattern we want to change. Since the most powerful pull in human nature is to be consistent with our Identity, when we are judgmental, our subconscious mind seeks congruency with the Identity of being a Victim.